I finally made it over to Urth Juice Bar, the juiciest place on the ‘Cullough.
I love me some green juice, so I opted for Grassy Knoll, a refreshing mix of ginger, apple, parsley, spinach, cucumber, and kale. Now I know what you’re thinking. GRASSY KNOLL-JFK-OMG. I’ll be honest—drinking assassination juice made me anxious. But after the juice was all consumed, I was neither assassinated nor felt urges to assassinate So I think it’s OK.
My colleague got a smoothie, the Bada-Bing, which is a combo of banana, yogurt, flax seed, blueberries, honey, and almond milk. According to the website, the Bada-Bing helps hemoglobin function. No word on how that’s going for him. I probably should have gotten that one because my hemoglobin is ALWAYS too low to give blood. Womp womp.
One warning about Urth: the juice is already pressed and in a bottle when you arrive. They don’t juice it on demand a la Jamba Juice. I’m no Juicy J, but I’m pretty sure this is because they cold-press their fruits and veggies, which is laborious and therefore requires Prior Planning (which Prevents Poor Performance, the 5 P’s, thanks Grandmother for that one).
So if you’re roaming the ‘Cullough, looking for JUICE in all the wrong places, check out URTH! JUICE is pretty hot these days, so expect to spend around $7 for your drink.
Or you could just go eat some grass like some damn cow.